Decline and Chaos (1/12-2/12)

Goods Missing from Warehouse!  (1/16/12)

From the Jhelom Times

Yesterday it was discovered that luxury goods were missing from both Jhelom warehouses.  It is unknown when these goods were removed.  A thorough investigation is being made.  However, according to one of the guards, some visitors to our fine city may be suspect.   

The Noble families of Jhelom would like to reassure its citizens that they are doing everything possible to keep Jhelom the safe prosperous city it has always been. To ensure this, guards will be posted day and night at both warehouses and visitors to our fine city will be asked to sign in a book when entering the city.

To help pay for this extra security a small tax will be placed on the Performing Arts Center’s performances.  Also funds that were set aside for the Jhelom Library will be used instead to pay for the added security.

News from New Magincia! (1/17/12)

News from New Magincia!  By Dilfred Dumphry

Greetings citizens of New Magincia! I, Difred Dumphry have taken on the awe inspiring task of reporting the going on’s of everyone who lives on this wonderful island of Magincia! 

First off! During the past few weeks, Lord Roberts has been seen courting Lady Windal, Lady Flesk, and one of the baker’s daughters.  Which is causing quite a scandal for the young Lord’s esteemed parents who not surprisingly, declined to comment.  The Baker however laughed and stated that his daughter was very good at making dough rise.  Moving along!

Next up is the warehouse across from the bank!  A good many of us have tried, err…  *know* of someone who has tried to pick the locks on the warehouse doors but to no avail. (Entertaining the bank tellers greatly in the process.)  However, the Lords and Ladies seem to know something us common folk don’t since they have seen fit to double the guard.  Which brings us nicely to our final bit of news. 

The Nobles of New Magincia “have put aside their differences to work together during these troubled times.” They wish to “assure one and all that the rumors of supplies not getting through are false!”  Good to know.  Good to know. 

That concludes my report good citizens!  Farewell for now!

Moonglow Blockade Now Complete! (1/18/12)

With pirates and marauders at an all time high on the ocean trade routes, the Noble families have taken steps to ensure the safety of the Moonglow citizens as well as those traveling by ship to and from our fair city.  Between the docks and the open ocean a blockade has been built.  This blockade is currently open and will remain that way unless outside events dictate otherwise.

 The blockade took a lot of time, effort and gold to complete, so a big thank you goes out to our wonderful Noble families of Moonglow!

The Awakening – Act 1 (1/20/12) – posted on the UOHerald

Results of the 1/21/12 call of the Guard!

By Dilfred Dumphry

Dilfred Dumphry here reporting to you from someplace in Serpent’s Hold!  Why Serpent’s Hold and not New Magincia?  Well, as all wife-fearing males must do on occasion, I am visiting the in-laws.  That’s right, visiting the in-laws. No, I am not avoiding a certain Noble family who’s son *cough*Lord Roberts*cough* decided to elope with the baker’s daughter and now, for no good reason other than I introduced the two of them, his parents want my head on a platter.  So. I’m visiting the in-laws.  Onwards!

Tonight the Guard met and we discovered some disturbing news.  Cities are beginning to take steps to keep their citizens safe.  Why?  Because outside the cities limits it’s not safe and it’s getting worse.  Travelers are being accosted. Caravans are being attacked.  Cities aren’t getting the needed supplies.  Amonos was lamenting the lack of brandy!  What? No brandy??  Truly dark times.

At Skara Brae, bandits had taken over the ferry.  The rangers there have been guarding the ferry for years without problem.  Now they were asking for help.  This didn’t bode well. 

At Moonglow bandits had taken over the blockade.  What blockade you may ask?  A bunch of tree stumps strewn across the water way allowing only one ship to pass through at a time.  Unfortunately the nobles of Moonglow didn’t post guards. Can you believe that? Hahaha!  Didn’t post a guard!  Four enterprising lads grabbed their bows, two boats and took advantage of the situation.  They made out like bandits, which of course, they now were and the Guard was now being called in to deal with the situation.

The guard was going to split up.  Half to Moonglow and half to Sakra.  I didn’t want to go to either, but it was either that or go back to the in-laws. Battle or in-laws.  Hmmm.  My brother-in-law was with me and would probably break my leg if I ran off so, battle it is!

My brother-in-law went to Skara Brae to help.  Eight bandits had taken over the ferry trying to gain control of (aka steal) the trade going in and out of the town by that route.  My brother-in-law had a great time slashing and bashing the bandits and getting slashed and bashed in turn.  He really enjoys those thump your chest me big and strong type activities.  Fine by me.  I’ll just follow behind and loot the corpses. 

Since he’d probably frown on such activity, I went instead to Moonglow where we were warned there would be a sea battle.  Amazingly not a single one of us had a boat.  Maybe we could just leave those bandits alone and go grab some ales instead.  No such luck.  A Guard member actually went bought a boat.  So we pile in and go off in search of bad guys.  Bad guys found.  Let me summarize our boat battle with them.  Us, pincushions. Them, hahahahah! Us, OooOooOoooo.

We gave up.  Captain Bob then shows us a place where we could hit two of the bandits from land.  Bob.  Seriously.  Why didn’t you show us this place first?? 

The group that went to Skara finished their bandit bashing there and joined us for some watery fun.  The combined group took out the four bandits at the Moonglow blockade amazingly fast. 

At the end Captain Bob gates us back to Serp’s Hold to talk about the current state of affairs.  Ugh.  I’d rather have supper with the in-laws.  My brother-in-law was, not surprisingly, in complete agreement.  Maybe we could get my father-in-law to pull out some of that brandy I know he has stashed away.  As long as there is brandy, there is hope!

That concludes my report good citizens!  Farewell for now!

Results of Tuesday’s (1/31/12) Calling of the Guard  

Earlier, highwaymen had taken a caravan of flour that had been heading for the Jolly Baker in Yew. During the fight, some of the sacks of flour were broken open. This allowed the Yew city guard to follow a trail of flour straight to their highwaymen’s stronghold. The Yew city guard called in the Royal Guard for help.

Captain Bob was very pleased. Finally, one of the major bands of highwaymen who had been accosting travelers and waylaying caravans, their hideout had been found! The Royal Guard was looking forward to a fast easy fight.

Unfortunately the highwaymen were prepared. What the Guard found instead was a massive fight with a lot of death robes. In the end, the Guard did prevail and delivered the flour to the Jolly Baker, much to the owner’s joy – and to the disgust of one of Yew’s leading nobles.

Lord Baron Earl Marquis claimed the flour was his and by delivering the flour to the baker, the Royal Guard stole what was rightfully his. He stormed out with the parting words to the effect of, ‘The Royal Guard are nothing but a bunch of thieves and the rest of the nobility will hear of this!’ None of the Guard seemed too upset by this as they headed off to their homes.

Normally you would think the story would end here, but it doesn’t. Later that night word spread about the large amount of flour that Yew had in it’s stores. Raiders appeared. By the time the raiders were defeated, the flour is now gone.

Some rumors say Lord Baron Earl Marquis confiscated the flour before the raiders appeared. Other say the raiders got it. And still others say the baker hid it away as soon as he got his hands on it. In these troubling times, the truth may never be known.

Lord Roberts and the Baker’s Daughter (2/12/12)

Jenny snuck out of the small dark house she shared with her beloved Clarence and made her way to the oak tree on top of a small hill.  She sat under the tree, hugged her knees and sobbed.  She and Clarence had left everything behind for love.  It seemed so simple back then, hop on a ship and sail away! And naturally, live happily ever after.  They went to Vesper, far enough away to avoid being found yet close enough to hear of any major tidings. 

Things started off well.  They bought a small house.  Huge by her standards, tiny compared to Clarence’s.  But both of them could sense the former owners’ love of the place.  The small house and garden had been well cared for and was perfect for them.  She found work at the local inn and Clarence found work as a guard to one of the noble families. 

But these were dark times.  Yesterday they had received word that Jenny’s father had been imprisoned by Lord Albert Roberts, Clarence’s father.  That would have been cruel enough, but the news got worse.  Jenny’s father was to be executed in a few day’s time if Lord Clarence Roberts had not returned to New Magincia, and without the… woman.  As for Jenny, she was banished from the islandof Magincia for life. 

So she sat there sobbing under the great oak tree.  She startled when she felt strong arms encircle her, and then realized it was her beloved Clarence.  She sank into his strong embrace letting his strength steady her as his scent filled her.   Her tears stopped as his comforting caresses stroked awake a strong desire.  He may be leaving in the morning, but tonight he was hers.

The Awakening – Act I, Part 2 (2/14/12) – posted on the UOHerald

Young Lord Roberts (2/15/12)

Clarence Roberts stared at the horizon behind the ship.  Always looking back, never forward.  When one of the sailors asked him why, Clarence told that was the direction of his one true love.  One of the hired spell slingers laughed at that and remarked, “If that were true no power would be able to keep you from your love.”

Clarence gave the spell singer a flat look, “I am noble born, and she is not.  If I don’t return my father will execute her father.  Her father would willingly die for her, but she is the oldest.  Her younger brothers and sisters deserve a father in their life. And their mother deserves her husband.” 

The spell slinger and the sailors had nothing to say to that so they let him be.

Only when the ship was docked and the plank down did young Lord Roberts turn toward the city of New Magincia.  There on the docks he saw the armed guards of his house.  Six of them.  “Young Lord Roberts, we are here to escort you to your Lord father.”  When Clarence gave him a puzzled look the guard explained further, “The streets… aren’t safe.”

Once clear of the docks, Clarence saw why.  The citizens were close to rioting, “How dare the nobles defy true love!”  “The baker’s daughter has a name! But the nobles don’t care, except for one!”  “Free the baker!”  “Let the young Lord and the baker’s daughter remain together!” 

 Mud was flung at him and his guards.  Then someone in the crowd recognized him.  “Young Lord Roberts!  You’ve… returned?”  As word spread, the crowd grew silent.  “Yes I’ve returned.  The baker is the father of my beloved Jenny, how could I stand by and let him be killed?  Now please stand aside.  I need to speak to… Lord Roberts about releasing Jenny’s father.”

 The crowd parted and after a moment or two, the people began to cheer.

Dilfred Dumphry is on a Mission (2/15/12)

By Dilfred Dumphry

Dilfred Dumphry here with another awe inspiring report of the going on’s of well, anyone I meet.  Last time I wrote I was visiting the in-laws at Serpent’s Hold.  Well.  I’m not there anymore.  Why?  I’m on a Mission.  And what is that mission?  Glad you asked!

My father-in-law went out to replace the brandy he, my brother-in-law and I drank one night.  Problem.  There wasn’t a drop of brandy to be found in Serpent’s Hold.  Thanks to Daniel I had known this bit of information before we polished off my father-in-law’s last bottle.  I just ‘forgot’ to mention it.  That’s right, forgot.  However my brother-in-law who is swift of blade but not of thought, chose that moment to make the comment, ‘oh yeah I forgot… Daniel was complaining that brandy could no longer be found anywhere.’  My father-in-law looked at me with eyes that had turned to glowing stones of blackrock that promised me an Armageddon all my own.

So.  I’m on a Mission.  Find brandy.  Obtain brandy.  Do not drink brandy.  Give brandy to father-in-law.  Simple.


Day One of Operation Brandy

I managed to book passage on a ship heading toBritain.  I learned a valuable lesson doing this, NEVER call a ‘ship’ a ‘boat’ in earshot of it’s captain or crew.  The cost of passage will double and you will get laughed at later in the voyage when you give in to the urge to lean over the rail and feed the fish. 


Day Two of Operation Brandy

Fortunately the urge to feed the fish was much less, or would have been if it weren’t for a hideous stench.  I asked one of the boa…err ship’s hired swords what the smell was.  She looked at me sadly and said, ‘Brit’.

Dilfred Dumphry at Brit Clean up (2/20/12) 

By Dilfred Dumphry

Why-oh-why-oh-why-oh-why did I decide to go to Brit??  The stench is horrendous and there are diseased rats running around everywhere!!  Check this out:


You see that woman there?  She’s a waitress!!  And wrestling that thing!!  She actually had to touch it! Ew! Yuck! Talk about fearless! *shudders* Once I saw that, I had to find out where she worked… so I wouldn’t eat there by accident. 

As some of you may recall, I’m on a mission to find brandy, the drink not the wench.  I quickly learned there was none to be found in Brit.  In fact very little of anything could be found in Brit.  The raiders were even avoiding that city.  Sad sad sad.  I was about to head out when the town cries announced a call to arms to clean up Brit.  I decided to join in.  Maybe someone in the crowd would know where I could get a hold of some brandy.

First stop, Brit sewers.  And I thought the city had smelled bad.  The sewers gave a whole new meaning to what I consider to be a ‘bad smell’.  Bob tells us that we will work our way all the way through into the lost lands cleaning as we go.  Bob must have noticed some puzzled looks since he went on to explain that ‘cleaning’ meant ‘exterminating anything that moves’.  I doubted that that would help the stench any, but hopefully it would get rid of the rats.


We discovered why the diseased rats were above ground, the rabid alligators must have chased them out.  The gators were mean, but with so many of us, they were easily dealt with. 

The sewers turned out to be quite a labyrinth of slime, stench and creatures that loved to bite.  Somehow we made it into the lost lands where there were more creatures wanting to snack on us.  So we killed them before they killed us and considered our duty was done.  But nooooo!  Bob reminded us that there were still rats in Brit and if we didn’t want them breeding, we needed to exterminate them.  *sigh*


When the last rat was down, I headed to theInnI had been staying at.  They wouldn’t let me in!!  I had to strip down, burn my clothes which caused a minor explosion, and take a quick dip in the river before they would allow me in.  Fortunately by the time I got back they had a bath with lots of soap waiting for me, free of charge.  Yes that’s how bad I stank. 

So another day done and still no brandy.  I’m not sure where to go to next, but I’ll decide that tomorrow.  Until then, this is Dilfred Dumphry wishing everyone safe travels.